Some People think that watching Sports is wastage of time during leisure time


You only posted the first half of the argument so I don’t really know what you’re arguing about exactly. However, base on your essay, I suppose that you’re discussing the time-worthiness between watching sports and engaging in real exercises.

– The general opening sentence is quite unclear. I think including ‘either by staying in home or by going physically’ in this sentence is unnecessary as it’s only a general statement. My suggestion is something like this: Watching sports has been a common pastime for people of all ages for many years.

– Grammar errors can be spotted frequently throughout your essays. My suggestion is to use some grammar correction software to check your first works so you can pay attention to what kind of mistakes you frequently make.

– In paragraph 2, you’ve mentioned that people watch sports to be relaxed. However, there is little to no support for this idea. 
– ‘Thus it is clear that it is not waste of time to be busy on watching sports during Spare time’; ‘it could be said that watching game by staying at home is a kind of waste of time.’ I feel like these 2 sentences are personal statements and are conflicted with each other.

– Your summary says that you side with actual activity engagement but that last sentence is causing confusion to readers.

I don’t have much experience fixing essays but above are some of my suggestions. I hope you will improve in your next works.